LILY OF THE VALLEY

After the funeral, Sarah learned that her father really love her mother but not the other way.

It was a secret box that wasn't too big with a golden color that looked worn. She found it on the top of the wardrobe that her parents used to use. Sarah accidentally saw her father put something into the box several times. When he opened the box his father would smile for a long time before taking a deep breath with a smile that faded away and quickly closed it before anyone knew it. Sarah never asked because she thought it was the secret love box of her parents.

The truth, Sarah found out when she was seventeen years old. She dropped the box as she was about to pick up the big suitcase for her summer vacation. The box fell to the floor with a fairly loud sound and opened by itself. With huge curiosity, Sarah took the box and saw the contents that accidentally spilled.

A collection of photos from old ones to the latest ones and a bundle of letters that she did not expect to have dozens of them, neatly tied together with envelopes wrapped around them. The first photo contains a photo of his mother that looks like she was deliberately being secretly photographed. Her mother was very beautiful when she was young, even now with a little wrinkles appeared. Her mother laughed openly with a man who she was sure was definitely not her father, the man hugged her mother and laughed too. Her mother's smile was very bright, a smile that Sarah rarely found on her mother. Behind the photo it written 'rose'.

In the second photo there is her mother on the stage in a very beautiful shiny red dress with hair in a bun. Sarah thinks it's school prom night. Her mother is very beautiful, many people say that Sarah is very similar to her mother and has no resemblance to her father. When Sarah asked why she doesn't look like her father, her father would just reply "you have the same personality as dad, is that not enough? You're my daughter." Sarah looked back at the man hugging her mother in the first photo, right behind her mother. They were like lovers and it made her curious. Her father and mother never told Sarah how they met and fell in love until Sarah finally came. Mom would just say "we've been friends for long time." in a relaxed tone. As for his father, "I’ve been friends with your mother and then I fell in love with her and we got married." say it with sparkling eyes. Sarah, who saw the difference between the two, only thought that her mother just didn't want to look like a young person who was drunk in love when telling a love story to her child so her mother was just acting normal.

In the next photo, there are only photos of Sarah and her mother and family photos of the three of us, not a single photo of her father and mother together except for a wedding photo attached to their bedroom wall. Sarah then read a letter that she thought had never been sent before. The first letter her father wrote when he first fell in love with a girl in middle school, that girl was her mother. The second letter contains the statement of her father's love for her mother and apologies for approaching her mother by pretending to be friends with her. From there Sarah knew that her father loved her mother before they were even friends. But unfortunately the letter never got to her mother. Both letters have red roses tucked inside.

The rose reminded about her father who liked gardening and loved growing red roses. "Why do you always plant red roses, Dad? Aren't there many kinds of roses we can grow?" Sarah always asked that question to her father. And her father would always answer "This is your mother's favorite flower, your mother will be happy if she sees so many red roses here." “How about your favorite flower Dad?” Sarah asked again, and her father replied "I love lily of the valley." Unconsciously, Sarah cried when she remembered it, how much her father loved her mother.

The letters that followed contained how his father wanted his mother to remain friends with him even though his mother knew that he loved her. Sarah then opened the letter with a different cover than before, with a golden 'love' engraving on the envelope. After being opened there was an ultrasound photo and it turned out that it was an ultrasound photo when her mother was pregnant with her. There it written "Thank you for accepting me and bringing the little angel into my life even though you don't love me I still thank you for that. I will love her with all of my heart." From the letter Sarah finally knew that the box was a secret box about her father's love for her mother that was never conveyed directly to her mother or even her mother knew about it but pretended not to know.

*****

Sarah sat pensive in the window beside the entrance to the cafe, staring at the rainy road, people running for the shelter. She needed to win over her mind after arguing with her mother the day after her father's funeral. Sarah is angry with her mother after opening her father's secret box again and discovering the contents of a new letter that was in her father's secret box after her father died in an accident. There was written, her mother's thanks to her father for loving her and Sarah all this time. Her mother is deeply indebted to the kindness of her father who loved Sarah as her own daughter. This fact hit her so hard, where someone she had thought of as a real father was only a stranger who volunteered to become her father, pouring out all of his affection.

For a moment, Sarah was devastated by that fact. Her parents never told her about the truth. She felt cheated. If she doesn't open her father's secret box again and if she doesn't find the letter, will they keep it a secret?.

Her mother wrote that because she didn't want to burden her father anymore. Therefore her mother wanted to separate from her father, her mother felt that her father was too good for her. During this time her mother could not love her father more than friends, he still loves Sarah's biological father who doesn't know where he is. Sarah is certainly furious, why only now does her mother ask to separate from her father after 20 years of their living together. Her father always did everything he could to make her mother happy with him, but her mother didn't seem to appreciate her father's efforts.

Sarah met her mother in the kitchen and asked about the letter.

"What is this mom?" Sarah shows her the letter she found.

"Where did you find it?" Her mother tried to calm down.

"Don't divert the conversation mom, why are you writing a letter like this to dad?" Sarah shuddered as she said, "You killed Dad, mom!" He shouted out loud. "You got Dad into the accident."

"What do you mean Sarah, I didn't mean it that way." Her mother's face began to sad and her eyes filled with tears.

“Why now, mom? After all that Dad has done for you.” She cried heartily when she remembered her father's eye that always sparkled when talking about her mother. "He really loves you mom," Sarah said the word over and over and his body all over the floor.

“Sarah, listen!” Her mother scooped up Sarah's face and said "I don't mean it like that, I just want to make your father free and not burdened by us. He has sacrificed a lot without paying attention to his own happiness." "Mom didn't know that it actually made him like this."

"But why now mom? You can be divorced a long time ago, right?" She didn't believe in such excuses.

"I did, when you were 3 years old. But your dad asked for one more chance to make mom fall in love with him. And the next reason is after you graduate from school." Se continued

"When you graduated from school Mom filed for divorce with your father but your father still refused until Mom wrote the letter and left home. Mom did all that so that your father can find his own happiness."

"But haven't you seen dad's struggles all this time? He did everything for you, Mom. Isn't there a little love for Dad?"

“Just a little, Mom.” Her eyes asked expectantly. His mother was silent and then cried by only saying an apology. “I’m sorry,”

"Is it true that I'm not Dad's real daughter?" She had to make sure of that.

“I’m sorry,” Again and again that was all her mother could say. Sarah was not satisfied with her mother's answer.

"The answer is yes or no, mom. Not an apology,"

Her mother seemed doubtful, but finally the mother told the truth with a sigh, "Yes, you are right."

“ I gotta go.” She stood up, ready to step out of the kitchen but her mother grabbed her hand.

"You need to hear my explanation, Sarah,." Her tone sounded pathetic.

"Mom know, mom was wrong and you must think that I’ve never tried to love your father." She continued, "Mom has tried to love your father,... but still can't, my heart is still for your real father. I know I’m stupid about it."

"Where is he?" Sarah said,

"What do you mean?”

"The person you love and you called as my real father. Where is he now?" His mother just shook her head sadly.

"And you still loves him whereas he was never here for us mom?,"

"Sorry mom, I have to go. I have to calm my mind." Sarah left with great disappointment with her mother.

Sarah turned around before continuing her steps and said, "Mom, You should understand that with you beside Dad, He is already happy."

*****

Back at the house,  she looked for his father's secret box again. She will keep the box forever in her side to remind that her father is the best father in the world. The father who always loved her, was always there for her, always protected her, and always calmed her down when she was afraid. Her father was the most handsome man in the world, more handsome than the man that was smiling with her mother in the photo and the greatest father she ever had.

Sarah saw a photo of the three of them where her father smiled very brightly. A happy family. That was all her father wanted. Sarah will always love her father even if her mother doesn't. She let her mother choose to love the bastard who is unluckily her real father. It sounds disobedient, but Sarah doesn't know what to call her real father because since she was born there is only one person she knows as her father, that is person who really loves her and her mother.

After this she found out why her father liked LILY OF THE VALLEY flowers. This flower looks beautiful but actually has a deadly poison that can kill humans. Just like her father's love for her mother. Her mother was so beautiful, she had to admit it, but the fact that her mother's love could never be reached by her father was painful. Love sounded beautiful to almost everyone, but her father's love was poisonous. Her father harbored the pain of one-sided love alone without being able to share it with anyone. Person he cares about, never see the effort he put in.

Love is such cruel creature, she thought. It’s like wild grass, grows anywhere as it pleases. You try to pluck it out from its root, yet a new sprout will grow even bigger and stronger.